Chapter 3, my mother is a monster

In the end, amidst the nonsensical ramblings in the box, Jiang Li succinctly summarized with a piercing statement: "Birds of a feather flock together"

Jiang Li looked at the box in my arms, which was completely unconscious from intoxication, and said, "I will take you back." His tone was very assertive, leaving no room for others to object. ... I sighed, this man ... ... is a bit domineering ...

I suddenly turned around and saw a male figure standing under the streetlight behind us, looking down at us. ... He was backlit, and his features were unclear, but I could still vaguely make out that he was ... ? ... Jiang Li ? !

At that moment, I swallowed hard and weakly replied, "I have returned, haven't I"

He walked over, his gaze intentionally or unintentionally sweeping over the finger I had just used to poke the box, and said nonchalantly: "So you really do have a taste for this, no wonder you agreed to marry me so quickly." Gay and lesbian, a perfect match

As we were approaching my home, Jiang Li suddenly asked, "Do you live with her?" Earlier, Jiang Li had asked me where she lived, and I had mentioned the same address as mine. At that moment, his expression seemed somewhat strange.

I have summarized my impression of Jiang Li.

Damn, I am not drunk at all

I close my eyes to cultivate my spirit, shielding myself from all sound waves

My mother held the marriage certificate, flipping through it while complaining: "You child, how could you casually take someone else's marriage certificate... If only you had one of your own..." Her words trailed off abruptly.

Suddenly, my mother, with her fifty-year-old body and the agility of a twenty-year-old, swiftly drifted in front of me, sniffing me up and down, and with a furrowed brow, she said: "Have you been drinking again?"

The atmosphere in the car became somewhat awkward for a moment, as the box continued to ramble nonsensically, and neither Jiang Li nor I spoke.

I looked at my mother's weary expression and thought to myself, would telling her now have a lesser impact?

The box then hummed: "Weren't you love at first sight?"

... ...

My mother stood at the doorway of the bedroom, looking at me with a face full of resentment, making the little flame of guilt in my heart flicker wildly, wishing I could immediately cling to her leg and cry out in remorse, vowing to change my ways.

So I poked her and disdainfully said: "Then why doesn't he call her Qiulan? What an elegant name!"

At that moment, I noticed that there was actually a man following behind him. I stretched my neck to look over and immediately widened my eyes, unable to speak.

At this moment, the box, filled with poetic inspiration, shouted into the night wind: "'He Jiang Li and Bi Zhi Xi, I weave autumn orchids as a pendant,' a beautiful name, a beautiful name!"

Ahem, you are not mistaken, you really are not mistaken! ... This is my extraordinarily talented mother, and for over twenty years, I have been navigating a battle of wits, courage, and face with her. Is it easy for me...

My mother did not wait for me to speak, taking the initiative with a trembling, sorrowful voice as she said: "Yan Yan, how can you bear to leave your mother alone in an empty house?"

I sternly corrected her: "Mom, being with a box is not called fooling around; going out with a man is what truly constitutes fooling around"

"His name is not BMW, it is Jiang Li." Despite my sadness, I could not help but correct him, although this name is not much better than BMW; I have seen this name in several fantasy novels.

Jiang Li spoke with an unfriendly tone: "Brother BMW? Is this how you introduce me to her?"

I continue to play dumb: "She is self-taught." So what, do I really have to tell her outright, you are a homosexual?

That pair of delicate eyebrows, that pool of lively eyes, and those lips that make one want to take a bite at first glance, combined with flawless skin... If I didn't already know that Jiang Li is gay, I would certainly think he is actually a woman disguised as a man

At this moment, the box was already so drunk that it was in a state of confusion, causing both humans and spirits to be indignant, yet it still did not forget to embarrass me. She sat in the back seat of Jiang Li's car, leaning against my shoulder, and murmured: "Call your BMW brother to pick us up, haven't you two already gotten married..."

I just realized my blunder, so I awkwardly cleared my throat and laughed, saying: "Hehe, where would I dare to have any thoughts about your person... Well, since you are on a date, we won't disturb you..."

At that moment, I couldn't help but reflect that we have only known each other for over twenty years, yet we can expose each other until the deep of night. So, when we have known each other for fifty or sixty years, wouldn't that mean we would have to recount for three days and three nights? Just thinking about it is quite chilling

Jiang Li seems to be amused by anger: "Castrated me?"

I dragged the box and followed Jiang Li, reluctantly glancing back at that light beauty male for a moment. Although I was a bit far away and couldn't clearly see his expression at that moment, I couldn't shake the feeling that there was a burning intensity and perhaps even hostility in those blurred eyes.

After waiting for a long time, I did not hear him say the phrase "People are divided into groups." I remained calm, yet I was angry

How unfair the heavens are! Why is this man more handsome than I am

I rubbed my eyes and looked at him more closely. Indeed, it was Jiang Li. So, I awkwardly greeted him, saying: "What a coincidence..."

I know that most gay individuals generally do not like to interact with women, so I graciously declined Jiang Li's kind offer to help me and climbed the stairs alone while dragging the box. Fortunately, both of our families live on the second floor, so it wasn't too difficult to climb.

Jiang Li mocked, "Love at first sight?"

So, I pulled my mother to sit on the sofa and gently took out that big red book from my bag, presenting it to her with both hands: "Mom, I want to show you something."

Qiu Lan is a woman's name

I reconsidered the D cup of the box and shook my head, saying: "I am not that heavy-handed yet, hehe..."

I calmly deny: "No, it was the box, I was completely drunk, I just brought her back." The box, my sister assures, this is the last time she will betray you

My mother rolled her eyes, indicating that she absolutely did not believe my nonsense: "I thought you were out on a date, but it turns out you were just fooling around with the box again"

I quickly took out her house keys from the box, opened the door, turned on the lights, entered the bedroom, and then tossed her onto the bed... The box's parents did not live with her, which meant that this twenty-seven-year-old woman was living alone in solitude... Not having parents around is great; I can drink to my heart's content and come home in the middle of the night, while what about me... It doesn't matter, after all, my friends are all married now, and that old lady won't be able to do anything to me in the future; she can't always discipline her son-in-law, can she? Not having parents around is great; I can drink to my heart's content and come home in the middle of the night, while what about me... It doesn't matter, after all, my friends are all married now, and that old lady won't be able to do anything to me in the future; she can't always discipline her son-in-law, can she? Thinking of this, I increasingly felt that my decision to get married was indeed wise; after all, once I marry Jiang Li, I can come and go as I please, and he won't be able to control me if I stay out all night.

First, lack of restraint? Getting married on the first date. Second, indiscriminate? Flirting with one's close friend while keeping a watchful eye on his romantic interest, which also validates the first point. Third, reality? Introducing him as "BMW brother," which can also validate the next point. Fourth, vanity? Claiming to have had "love at first sight" with Jiang Li. Fifth, fierce? Strange? ... I cannot quite articulate this, as the connotation of the word "castrated" is too profound and elusive... Fourth, vanity? Claiming to have had "love at first sight" with Jiang Li. Fifth, fierce? Strange? ... I cannot quite articulate this, as the connotation of the word "castrated" is too profound and elusive...

I shared my thoughts with the box, and to my surprise, she waved her hand and mumbled, "You are already married, how can you still have so much time to waste with me? If there is to be a revelation, it should come from your BMW brother..."

The body of the box slid down limply, and I lifted her up and leaned her back against my shoulder. She then clearly stated (note this word, I am quite frustrated!): "If he dares to treat you poorly, I will castrate him!"

Just right, saved the taxi fare, anyway he is already my husband, so I might as well use it. I was just about to offer a symbolic courtesy, but I saw Jiang Li say to someone behind him: "You can go back by yourself first."

Indeed, alcohol brings out the truth; I had long seen through it. At its core, the box is actually an exceedingly flamboyant poet, otherwise it would not recite "Li Sao" in such a disheveled manner in the wind

Jiang Li probably misunderstood me. At this moment, he coldly and with a hint of disdain said to me: "You really have no dietary restrictions, do you? You are open to both men and women?"

I : `` ... ... ''

I scratched the back of my head and chuckled foolishly: "She is self-taught."

I shook my head and explained, "No, we are neighbors," and then hesitated for a moment before adding, "I am not a lesbian."

My mother yawned wearily and said, "I wish you could go out and have some fun with a man a few times"

... ...

This world is rather chaotic, and I think that today, despite my intention to drink a thousand cups without getting drunk, I am indeed a little tipsy.

I tiptoed back home, thinking that my mother had already fallen asleep, but to my surprise, as soon as I took two steps into the living room, the lights were suddenly bright.

I was just about to praise the box for being relatively alert, but then I suddenly realized that the person who just said that... is a man

Because I was very calm despite my anger, I said nothing and continued to pretend to be deaf while leaning against the car

Before she could finish her sentence, Jiang Li interrupted her, saying: "Let's go, women are always so talkative"

This time, the spicy hot pot turned into a "reminiscence meeting of the friendship between He Zi and classmate Guan Xiaoyan." During the meal, we alternated between laughter and tears, revealing each other's embarrassing stories, while sipping beer, until the owner urged us to leave, and we reluctantly settled the bill and departed.